I'm too negative. I think I'm often justified in my negativity, but that's no excuse to be a sour puss. No one likes that. So, I'm going to try to stick to positive thoughts. If I can't do that, at least I'll put a positive spin on things.
These come to mind:
- The weather has been beautiful lately. It's great to walk from one side of the campus to the other with no jacket and not need to worry about frostbite.
- Good weather is a mixed blessing when it comes to motivation. When it's cold and drearie, I get sad. When I'm sad, I don't want to work. When it's warmer, I'm happier. When I'm happier, I want to do well at everything. The side with the warmer weather is that I don't want to be inside, but I guess you can't get everything, eh? :)
I got an 88 on my Java exam. Granted, I should have done better because the mistakes I made were pretty dumb, but an 88 is still an 88, so I'm not going to complain. Especially since Graham got an 80. Of course, if I find out that Gen got a better grade than me, I'll have to cry. ;)
I would love to complain at this point about how this Java class, 223, seems to be just a review of 066, 067, and 068. However, I'll put a positive spin on this and point out at least this ought to be an easy A or a high B if I end up putting no effort into the class.
- I got a 13/30 on my Physics exam. Oh, but but! The way it's graded, that means I got a low C on it.
- I've been informed by my IH professor that it would behoove me to drop the class. I guess that's what happens when you don't show up for 3 weeks or so. However, this also means that I don't have an ugly block of stuff to do from 10:10-5:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That translates to motivation to actually do the stuff I still have on those days. You see how this works? Plus, if I pull together my Physics grade, I don't need to worry about problems with the University or the FAFSA people, since I'll still be floating above the 12 credit minimum. Perhaps I'll stay in school for the next 20 years, but at least I'm making baby steps, and I don't need to foot the full bill until I graduate. ;)
- This craziness in the above mentioned point is making me wonder if I am where I want to be right now. Really, this has been on my mind for about a year now. I try to be logical things, so I tend to start off with a million different possibilities and then weed them down by coming up for reasons why various solutions are unfeasable or undesirable:
- Change of Major
- The Computer Science courses I've taken have been my favorite classes so far, as well as the ones I've performed best in. Why change the one element that seems to be working?
- Change of Schools
- This has a series of complications involved with it. My 2.6, while not horrible, isn't exactly ideal for a transfer canidate. Also, this will end up costing me more money that I don't have. Although tuition has gone up the past few semesters, I believe Temple is still cheaper than most schools out there. That, and I'm hesitent to give up what little familiarity I have.
- Temporarily leave?
With the ones above, I feel somewhat positive towards, but realize there are practical limitations. This option is the one I have the most mixed feelings about.
This would be excellent because it would probably make me a better person, buy me time to decide what I want to do with my life, and allow myself to make those decisions while paying down my debts rather than pile them on.
On the other hand, there's nothing for me at home. Well, that's not quite fair. My family is at home, and I love them to death. However, I have no job waiting for me (although that's the lesser of two problems), and what few people I know will be leaving in a few months. Isolation scares me. That, and people in college are less likely to be drafted than people not in college.
- Run off to another country, state, etc. and start over
- None of the pros of the above option with all of the cons along with the guilt of leaving behind a large tab. Obviously, this isn't even a consideration and is just listed in order to be complete.
- Stay here and brood over these thoughts for another x years until I graduate, and then realize what I really ought to have done with 20/20 hindsight.
- The cons are obvious, but it has the plus side of being what will most likely actually happen, along with the optimistic spin of there being a minimal chance of being drafted.
It's now getting late, almost time for me to leave, and I think I forgot my original point, so I'm going to stop here.